Succeeding at Relationships

If you live long enough someone will hurt you, let you down, and/break a promise. It’s one of the consequences of living in a fallen world; none are perfect but God.

Despite this reality, God designed us to be in relationship with other people. In fact, our success hinges on it. That's right, we need other people to succeed and the Word confirms this truth: “Two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9a) and “If two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone?” (Ecclesiastes 4:11).

Now take a moment to think about your relationships and ponder the following questions:

1.      Are your relationships healthy and thriving or filled with conflict and pain?

2.      Are those you are connected with encouraging your success or providing stumbling blocks for your failure?

3.      Are you representing Christ well in your relationships?

4.      Do you allow God to determine with whom you associate?

How did you do? For some of you, this short exercise confirmed that you are in good relationships. Perhaps for others of you, some improvement is necessary. If that is the case, don’t despair.  You, too, can enjoy healthy, thriving relationships if you adhere to some basic tenets.

Healthy relationships are:

1.      Christ-centered. To succeed at any relationship you need to make Christ the center.  Period.  Let His life be a demonstration of how you are to be in relationships. Ironically, He not only loved those who were kind to Him but also those who misused and betrayed His trust. Remember a fellow by the name of Judas? Yeah, He loved Him too.

2.       Built on love and respect. You should treat others as you would like to be treated (see Matthew 7:12). But maybe you haven’t learned how to love and often get into relationships that mimic your past unhealthy relationships. Fortunately, God’s word tells us what healthy, loving relationships look like. Love the Bible’s way is outlined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

·         Patient

·         Kind

·         Never envious or boastful

·         Polite

·         Slow to anger

·         Forgiving

·         Honest

·         Protective

·         Trustworthy

Examine your relationships against this barometer. If your relationships fall short, ask God to give you the grace to make the changes you need to make.

3.       Conflict friendly. Conflict in relationships is natural and necessary; it allows for the proper stretching that leads to growth. However, conflict is not about fighting and dominating another person. If your relationships are filled with violence, both physical and emotional, you need to re-evaluate those relationships. That is not God’s design for healthy relationships.
 

4.       Areas where each person can be him/herself. It is God’s job, not yours, to change other people. If you are constantly seeking to change those you are in relationship with, you are wrong. No one has to conform to or live life by your standards because Christ is the standard. Therefore, work on changing you and stop trying to control everyone else.

Lastly, with God’s help you will succeed at relationships—even the challenging ones. He will give you the grace to love the parent who abandoned you, the boss who ignores your talent, or the friend who comes from a dysfunctional family. Nothing is too hard for God.

If you seek God in this area of your life, no matter how painful your history, He will cause your every relationship to succeed (see Proverbs 16:7).

I would love to answer your questions. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook. Also please feel free to comment on this post below.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste