Quick Update to Keeping the Faith

This is a quick update to yesterday's post, Keeping the Faith. Thank you for your text, emails, and prayers. The doctor phoned today with great news; the cells they were concerned about are benign. All I can say is THANK GOD! He does all things well.

Whatever you are believing God for don't give up. If it is in His will it's a done deal. I am a witness!

Wishing you good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Recommended Reading: Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick

Keeping the Faith

If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.
(Proverbs 24:10)

What good is a faith that is untested? Anyone can say they have faith but the true measure of faith is what one does when faced with a challenge.

In September of 2007, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I underwent chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery and by God’s grace I am alive and well.   

Fast forward 3 years. On September 20, 2010, while presenting to the Cancer Support Ministry of the First Baptist Church of Glenarden I made a bold declaration: I will never be stricken with cancer again in Jesus’ name.

At the time of that statement, I was in the throes of a fast I was developing which is now known as the 40-Day Surrender Fast. (Click to read Day 8 - Establish Your Faith: http://surrenderfast.blogspot.com/2010/09/day-8-establish-your-faith.html.)

Since that time many others have partaken in the fast with amazing results. Just recently another group started. On Monday, May 16, 2011 they were reading—of all the post—Establish Your Faith. I only knew this because one of the participants emailed me with a comment and I posted back.

Well as fate would have it, I was scheduled for a mammogram on the very day they were reading Establish Your Faith. At the conclusion of the exam the doctor told me that some calcification had been indentified which would need to be biopsied. I had the biopsy yesterday and the results of that test are to come in tomorrow.

So I repeat, what good is a faith that is untested? We don’t know what we believe until you are called to prove it. Well I believe I heard God correctly on September 20, 2010 and I refuse to think otherwise.

In fact, on the morning of the mammogram God had me to read Isaiah 55:11

So is my word that goes out from my mouth:
   It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
   and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

On my drive home I recalled what I had read and was greatly comforted. God always gives you just what you need often before you actually need it.

If you are going through something today that threatens to overwhelm you—DON’T LET IT. God has prepared and equipped you to overcome any and every challenge. You don’t have to take anything lying down; God has all power and the final say so.

The doctor is to call me tomorrow but in the meantime I am living for today, keeping the faith, and believing God at His word:  

·         No weapon formed against you shall prosper” (Isaiah 54:17).

·         God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).

·         What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us (Romans 8:31)?

And I declare it again—I will never be stricken with cancer again in Jesus’ name. Amen

Please comment and let us know what challenges you are facing so that we can encourage you.

Also, I would love to answer your questions. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

To Free or Not to Free

QUESTION

I have a quick question about charging a fee for ministry work. The other night my dad and I were talking about my ideas, ministry, blog, etc., whereupon he told me “Whatever you do that is church related should always be FREE.” Do you know I cringed at the thought?  So I prayed about it, well rather, I said to the Lord, “really does it all have to be free?”  And the Lord said "It doesn't belong to you.  Are you really concerned about money? Everything, including your ideas has come from me."  Then I started thinking about a curriculum that I have wrote for mothers and started feeling some sense of "ownership" over that material.  Again the Lord said, "It's not yours." I am having a hard time with this. Please help! 

ANSWER

Thank you for your question. It’s interesting that you would ask me this question now. Had you asked me this question some time last year I would have readily agreed with your father’s statement but now I know better.

I am taking a year-long biblical entrepreneurship course taught by Patrice Tsague of the Nehemiah Project (http://nehemiahproject.org/training-certificate-course.htm). It is fantastic and has changed the way I view and approach ministry.

Mr. Tsague posits that a kingdom business/ministry, like any other business, requires money to grow. If we are regularly giving away our gifts and talents we hinder the growth of the ministry and thus hamper our ability to further the work of the kingdom.

Mr Tsague further suggests that we are bad stewards of our gifts and talents when we don’t properly “steward” what God has given to us. He references the parable of the servants and the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) and interestingly enough the story of Joseph (Genesis 41). Joseph wasn’t the business owner but he was entrusted to grow Pharaoh’s wealth and further his kingdom. He couldn’t just give it all out for free because it wasn’t his!

The same is true for us. We don’t own anything; it all belongs to God. Isn’t that what God has been telling you, “It all belongs to me”? Therefore, it behooves you (and the rest of us) to do right by Him. If He has given us books, curriculums, and inventions we are to get those copyrighted or patented so that we can keep control of what God has entrusted to us. This is not about us but Him.

So let’s follow your father’s argument to its logical conclusion. If it’s wrong to charge for church related activities no one who works for the church should be paid. That would include the pastor, ministry leaders, and church employees. According to this argument they, too, should be working for free. I don’t see that happening nor should it. I Timothy 5:18b reads, “The laborer is worthy of his hire.”

Now am I suggesting that you never volunteer for the church or in church related activities? Of course not. You should be in the regular practice of giving of your time and abilities to the church (even tithing a portion of your business time for volunteer activities) but seek God for the His will so that you are balanced in your efforts (see Proverbs 3:5-6).

Lastly, God wants you to succeed at advancing His kingdom and the ministry that He has entrusted to you. And for that to happen, my dear, you will need some money!   

I would also love to answer your questions too. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook. Also please feel free to comment on this post below.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

Make This One Count

The other day my sister Nicole called me with a story that blessed me and I hope it does the same for you.

A few weeks ago she was the birthing coach for our sister Stephanie who was having her first baby. Not knowing what to expect Stephanie was naturally apprehensive and a little confused. Understanding her dilemma the doctor began to repeat the same phrase at each contraction, “Okay Stephanie, make this one count.”

At first Stephanie wasn’t making it count. She was pushing half-heartedly or not at all. As a result of her efforts—or lack thereof—the baby would surface momentarily and then retreat. Then she would have to start all over again.

However, after a few failed attempts she had an “aha  moment.” If she was going to succeed at having her baby she was going to have to push through the pain with all her might. So when the next contraction came, she made it count and is now the proud mommy of a beautiful baby boy.

Like Stephanie, some of you are in the throws of an uncomfortable experience and want God to rescue you without any effort on your part. It doesn’t work that way. God requires that you do your part and make every effort count. 

This is not a post about avoiding pain or wishing yourself out of a season that you just have to weather. No, there are some things you just have to endure. That season for me was cancer.  I prayed fervently for God to remove the lump without any medical treatment but He didn’t. And I am glad he didn’t. I needed to weather that storm so that I and others could see His glory. 

But this is different. This discussion is about you hindering your own progress. Let me illustrate.

Last April, I approached a publisher about a book I have written on destiny. They agreed to publish me but on terms that were unsuitable, so I declined and waited (and waited some more). In fact the wait has been so long that I am content to just stay right where I am but God won’t let me. He is now nudging me to move forward.

So with fear and trepidation I am now soliciting agents. I sent out my first 10 email queries the other night. The next day, 2 declined. One even wrote, “Thanks for querying me about your work. With a very full plate, I take on new writers only in exceptional circumstances, and your work is not, I am sorry to say, for me.” Ouch! But like my grandmother use to say, “One monkey don’t spoil no show.” (Feel free to interpret that any way you like.)

Anyway, there is good news. One agent asked to see my proposal! My efforts are paying off and I know I will be published soon.

What is God calling you to? What amazing ministry, business, book, or other experience does He want you to birth in you? Then push. Don’t let fear and the pain of rejection keep you from what is yours. The doctor has spoken, “Okay _______________ (put your name here), make this one count!”

Please feel free to leave comments below. Also, if you have a question you would like for me to answer please email me at info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

Can you Hear me Now?

QUESTION

How do I communicate with a spouse that does not want to? Do I back off and let them have time to themselves (which could be dangerous and cause for separation)? I understand that nagging and begging to get answers does not work either, and praying is the best thing to do. But do you just ignore the issues you have in your relationship or try to find another avenue to get your spouse's attention?

ANSWER

For this circumstance ignoring is not the answer; this problem will require active, consistent attention and care. If you are to succeed at rebuilding this relationship, you must actively seek God for His plan and not lean to your own understanding (Proverbs 3:6). It is abundantly clear (at least to me) by the way you phrased the question that you are participating in the latter. So let me help by breaking down each of your questions.

1. How do I communicate with a spouse that does not want to?

Whomever said communication is all about words is lying. Only a small percentage (7% to be exact) of communication involves words. In fact, a greater portion of our message is communicated through body language (55%) and vocals (38%; pitch, tone of voice).

The word confirms this truth. In 1 Peter 3:1-2 we are thus instructed:

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

Without a word…they observe the chaste conduct…you and God win...need I say more?

2. I understand that nagging and begging to get answers does not work either, and praying is the best thing to do.

Amen, absolutely correct. Prayer trumps nagging every time. James 1:20 tells us that “the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” You can talk and nag until you are blue in the face but those behaviors will not produce the change you seek. Indeed you need God to intervene in a supernatural way. Therefore let Him instruct you, through prayer, on how you are interact with your spouse.

3. But do you just ignore the issues you have in your relationship or try to find another avenue to get your spouse's attention?

You find another avenue.

Relationships are funny little things that require two people to maintain their dynamic. Therefore when one changes (in this case it will be you) the other person has to change.

Right now your relationship is probably on autopilot; simply mimicking the beliefs you learned in childhood about marriage. I would suspect that your spouse witnessed at least one of his/her parents regularly shutting down in marriage. In your case, I would guess that you have a family history of divorce (*indicated by your own words: “Do I back off and let them have time to themselves, [which could be dangerous and cause for separation].” See further explanation below).

Therefore, operating on autopilot, would prove disastrous. You need to believe and do something different; God will show you what to do.

First, He wants you to know that you are not desperate and not without hope. You serve a God who has ALL power and can make the impossible--possible, if you only believe. He said in Isaiah 49:23b, "Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” That’s a promise!

So do not fear but move into action. Here are a few suggestions:

1.      Take time to reflect on key scriptures that will encourage you in the area of marriage.

2.      Recall God’s promises to you about marriage and recite they back to Him.

3.      Do something different: smile more, make their favorite meal, invite them on a date, etc. Showing love will make its intended impact and soften their defenses.

4.      Surround yourself with those that can give you godly advice. Even consider a Christian counselor for yourself to help you sort out your feelings.

Lastly, God's desire for your marriage far exceeds your wildest imaginations (see Ephesians 3:20) and He has given you everything you need to succeed. You don’t have to be a statistic; your marriage can thrive and prosper with God’s help. Just let Him have His way and then your spouse will hear you and Him!

I would also love to answer your questions. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook. Also, please feel free to comment below.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

*Backing off to give another space shouldn’t produce the fear of separation/divorce. Brief spurts of emotional disconnection are typical and often necessary in a marriage.

Recommended Reading: Marriage from A to Z, Carolyn Tatem

Frustrated with One-way Friendships

QUESTION

In relationships I am a tad sensitive when the Golden Rule isn't applied. As a result, I have ended two major friendships because it felt like I was investing more than they were which is fine at times, but becomes offensive when it characterizes the relationship and is noticed by others. I kind of separated myself from both relationships and in one of the relationships I sat down to talk with her a couple of times, but I hit the breaking point a few months ago. I'm realizing that I don't understand relationships as well as I thought I did. I thought that if I showed love, went out of my way, basically made myself available when they were in need, then they would also do the same, etc. But we all know that's not the way life works.

So how am I to have successful relationships when I feel like I’m doing my part but it isn't reciprocated? I definitely know relationships aren't always 50/50, but what do you do when you're mindful of filling there "love tank", but yours is neglected and remains on "E"? A successful relationship is a two way street, right? I'm feeling like I did something wrong because I let go of the relationships and didn't accept them for who they were...

ANSWER

Understanding that there are varying degrees of friendship helps. In the New Testament we learn a great deal about the dynamics of relationships by reading about Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy.

It is said that we are to be a Barnabas (friend), pursue a Paul (mentor), and train a Timothy (mentee; see the book of Acts). These terms are often used in the context of ministry development but I think they are also applicable to our platonic relationships.

This philosophy has helped me to understand the dynamics of my own relationships. Some years back I was in a few challenging friendships; I had started to feel frustrated and drained. I knew something had to change. Thus I re-evaluated my friendships by the above mentioned criteria and began to understand why some of my friendships were so lopsided (i.e., I was Paul to some). Armed with this knowledge, I was able to re-group and approach those friendships with lower expectations.

Another important point to remember is that we are in some relationships for merely a season. In the book of Ruth after Naomi had lost her husband and two sons she urged her daughters-in-law to return to their country of origin. Orpah gladly complied but Ruth would not be persuaded (Ruth 1: 16-17).

      But Ruth said:

      “ Entreat me not to leave you,
      Or to turn back from following after you;
      For wherever you go, I will go;
      And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
      Your people shall be my people,
      And your God, my God.

     Where you die, I will die,
      And there will I be buried.
      The LORD do so to me, and more also,
      If anything but death parts you and me.”

I guess Ruth was determined to be a friend for life! And she had to be; their destinies were intricately tied. Orpah, on the other hand wasn’t a flake, she just understood that their season had ended.

So you have ended two longing-standing relationships. If you are reasonably sure that you are in God’s will move on and don’t wallow in guilt. Doing what God requires is not always easy but obedience is always rewarded.

For others, if you, too, are at a crossroads I encourage you to re-evaluate your relationships. If after careful consideration you discover that you are always a Paul and always giving out, you need to seek God for balance. You are not called to be in a continual state of outpour; you need someone pouring into you too.

If you discover instead that your season has ended with certain individuals have the courage to make a change. Remember you don’t want to hinder the fulfillment of your destiny or someone else’s by staying tied to a relationship that has ended. Furthermore, moving on makes room for the right people to join you for this leg of your race.

I would also love to answer your questions. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook. Also please feel free to comment on this post below.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste