My Husband Has Left Me

Question:

 My husband decided to leave me for someone else. What do I do now?

Answer:

I’m sorry to hear that your husband has left you. Although I don’t know what lead up to his leaving, I do know that God doesn’t want you wallowing in pity or putting your life on hold. He desires that you to succeed at life even under these circumstances. His word says, “Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers” (3 John 1:2, AKJV).

Therefore, be encouraged. Even in the midst of this problem He still wants you to prosper mind, body, and spirit. Here are a few things that you can do now:

1.       Pray to God for His direction. God knows the plans He has for you, so ask for His direction. He may have you dust off some old dreams and work towards making them a reality, or go to counseling to be in good mental shape to experience the next opportunities He has for you, or perhaps He will have you wait patiently on the return of your husband. I don’t know…I’m not God, but whatever He tells you to do, do it. He will greatly reward your obedience (see Joshua 1:8; Deuteronomy 28).

2.       Pray for your husband and his new girlfriend. Say what?! Yes, pray. The bible says that we are to pray for those who despitefully use us. I find that when I pray for someone who has wronged me it helps me to release the bitterness I feel toward them and be in a better position to love and grow.

3.       Don’t cling to the past. In other words, let go of what was. The past is just that, the past. Therefore, resist re-hashing past conversations or feeling guilty about things said or not said. You can certainly learn from your mistakes but you can’t change them. So learn what is to be learned and move on.

4.       Use your time productively. Don’t waste time ruminating on what your husband is doing. If you find it difficult to obtain peace of mind pray, talk with a trusted friend, and/or speak with a counselor. These activities will help you process any negative feelings you might be experiencing as a result of your husband’s rejection.

5.       Don’t make any rash decisions. Sit with God and listen for His response to your prayers. There is no rush. Take this time to heal and grow in your relationship with God.

Lastly, you might also meditate on passages of scripture in Psalm (e.g., Psalm 46:1 (KJV) “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble “).  No matter what, don’t give up on God, or yourself. I am praying your strength and wishing you good success in every area of your life.

Dr. Celeste