Cheating Spouse?

Question: 

I think my husband is cheating or thinking of cheating. How do I approach him?

Answer: 

If you are just “thinking” that he is cheating, I recommend that you delay approaching him until you have some proof.  The negative ramifications associated with accusing him of something he may not be guilty of are great. Specifically, you run the risk of hurting him deeply with your mistrust.  As a consequence, the process of re-building the trust could prove not worth the momentary peace of mind you get from confronting him.

Therefore, I would suggest you first take a moment to explore the possible “whys” behind your suspicions:

1.       Female Intuition. There is something to be said for female intuition: that sixth sense that things aren’t quite right. However, in this case—with so much at stake—proof, to back up your accusations, would be ideal. Proverbs 10:19 tells us, “The wise measure their words” and in Proverbs 3:6 we are thus instructed, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” In other words, less talk and more prayer is the way to success in this area. Therefore, God for guidance; He will come through.
       I know a woman who suspected her husband of cheating. She prayed and a few days later she found a condom floating in her toilet. She pondered that occurrence for a few days and was given further proof of her husband’s indiscretions when she arrived home early from work and found him in the house with another woman. God answered her prayer and will do the same for you if you ask.

2.       Insecurity.  If your suspicions of your husband are in any way driven by insecurity, you need to acknowledge that and make strides to improve your sense of self-worth. When a person is insecure, he/she needs constant reassurance that they are loved and this behavior puts a strain on the relationship and your ability to grow as a couple. Be advised that your husband can’t handle nor fix your insecurities, only God can do this. A prayer that I often pray is “God show me me.” It works. When He shows me myself, I believe Him and work towards improving. 

3.       Fear. Closely tied to insecurity is fear. Fear is a powerful de-motivator and will cause us to act inappropriately. The scripture reminds us, “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). Therefore, gather all of your fears and heap them before the Lord in prayer. He will give you peace so that you can make a wise and godly decision for your marriage.

Well that’s my two cents. Please let me know your thoughts by commenting below.

I am wishing you good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste