The Good Success Movement Blog

What is Surrender 2012?

2011-12-25T16:31:00.000-08:00

Surrender 2012 is a time of corporate prayer and fasting with believers from across the country. It is a time for you to experience God in a new way, transition smoothly to your next season, and to rid yourself of every hindrance that keeps you from receiving God’s best.

Our time together will start January 2 and continue to February 10. Here are a few simple steps to prepare:

Purchase The 40-Day Surrender Fast (Celeste C. Owens, PhD):
1. Official Surrender Fast Website
2. Facebook (“Like” us and receive 20% off until December 21)
3. Barnes and Noble and Amazon online
4. First Baptist Church of Glenarden bookstore
5. Ebook
Complete the Pre-Fast Preparation chapters prior to January 2.

We will begin reading on January 2 with Day 1 – Expect the Unexpected.

And that’s just the beginning. God is going to show up in a powerful way. Others that have completed this fast have been tremendously blessed and God wants to do the same for you!

Even if you have never completed a fast you can do this one. To help you along I have implemented several resources:

The Surrender 2012 Blog. Sign up to this blog to receive a new post of encouragement every Monday.
Daily Prayer. Dial in Monday – Thursday for prayer from 7:00a.m. – 7:15a.m. You can submit your prayer request to this blog, by email, or on Facebook (inbox me if you want to send a private message). The number is 712-775-7200, access code: 438001.
Weekly conference call. Fridays from 12:00p.m. – 12:30p.m. Be encouraged through prayer and powerful testimonies of those who have completed or are completing the Surrender Fast. The number is 712-775-7200, access code: 438001.
Facebook and Twitter updates. You are welcome to use these social media outlets to update us on your progress or encourage others through you testimony.

You won’t want to miss this experience! Your willingness to surrender it all to God will pay off in a major way.

Please invite others to participate. As you know, there is no better way to start your new year then through prayer and fasting. If you make this sacrifice, I can guarantee you that your life will never be the same!

Change is in the air,
Dr. Celeste

Surrender 2012

2011-12-01T12:09:00.001-08:00

Are you as excited as I am about Surrender 2012?! This will be a tremendous time of blessings for all that decide to be part of this great event.

If you are planning to participate, please do the following:

1. Visit the official Surrender Fast website or Facebook to sign up.

2. Purchase the book.

3. Start on January 2, 2012.

It's that simple.

Also, I know that I have many international readers of this blog. Welcome and please join us on Jan. 2. Better yet, reply to this message and let us know where you reside.

Freedom is on the way; get ready to live your best life!

Wishing you God's good success in every area of your life,

Dr. Celeste

Just Do It

2011-09-16T18:21:00.000-07:00

You probably think Nike coined “Just Do It,” but technically it was Mary, the mother of Jesus who first spoke those famous words at the marriage feast in Cana of Galilee.

The wedding was a spectacular event with many invited guest. No doubt, everyone was having a great time and all was going as planned until the wine ran out. What a disaster and an embarrassment for the host. What were they to do? Mary had their answer, “Just do it.”

To quote her exact words she told the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it” (John 2:5). By “He” she was referring to her son, Jesus. In turn, Jesus instructed the servants to fill six pots with water. That may have seemed an odd request, but they moved into action and just did it. And what happened next was nothing short of a miracle—Jesus’ first in fact—the water was turned into wine!

We, today, are to be like those servants. When God ask us to do something, we should move into action immediately without a whole lot of discussion and doubt.

Some of you are delaying your miracles because you have decided to disobey His command, but if you would just step out and do it, God would move on your behalf.

I know you can’t see how His plan is going to work out, but faith isn’t about seeing, but believing. So surrender your plan, (which, by the way, isn’t working anyway) and just do what He’s calling you to do. Go ahead and start that business, go back to school, join a church, write a blog, reconcile with your spouse…whatever it is, “just do it” and watch Him work it out for your good.

I am wishing your good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Now available The 40-Day Surrender Fast. Pick up your copy at www.surrenderfast.com.

Know Your Brand

2011-09-01T08:07:00.000-07:00

I have a good sense of what I was put on this earth to do however, there are times I forget. Take last night for example. I was perusing the web and happened upon a site on branding. The site promoted the typical “you need to build a brand that makes you a lot of money or you are a failure” type of message. Accordingly, the “expert” showcased her success at building her own brand by flaunting pictures with celebrities, and testimonials from CEOs of Fortune 500 companies.

The more I read, the more I felt as if I was doing it all wrong. Sadly, it took about 30 minutes before I realized what was happening. I was allowing my mind to be bombarded with a message that wasn’t true for me. Building my brand has nothing to do with riches and stardom.

Like I said earlier, I know why I was put here. I am here to help others develop a mind to succeed and complete their earthly assignment. I have a particular interest in doing this with underserved populations. Even now my husband and I are in the process of drafting a plan to implement a non-profit that will teach the homeless, prisoners, addicts, and the severely abused how to think in a way that will bring them success (whatever success will look like for them).

This calling may be a lot of things, but glamorous it is not. Will it bring me in contact with celebrities? Probably not. Will I be wined and dined by Fortune 500 companies? Unlikely. But what I will be is satisfied.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get to the end of my life and look back with regret because I chased opportunities that were not mine to have. I plan to end my life knowing that I did everything that God told me to do. I pray that that will also be your testimony.

In one respect the experts are right. You need to know your brand and build it. But let me also add, let your heart build that brand and not your greed.

If you also have a tough calling, please comment and tell us what you are doing (or plan to do) and how you manage to stay focused. From your comments we will randomly select two of you to receive a free autographed copy of The 40-Day Surrender Fast.

I am wishing you good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Now available The 40-Day Surrender Fast. Purchase your copy at www.surrenderfast.com or Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

The 40-Day Surrender Fast

2011-08-22T18:52:00.000-07:00

Hello. I am pleased to announce that the 40-Day Surrender Fast is now available! If you are in a season of transition or in need of a spiritual transformation this is the book for you. The Surrender Fast will help you to re-group and re-focus so that you are able to do just what you were created to do. Please visit www.surrenderfast.com for more details.

Healthy Lifestyle Challenge

2011-08-08T06:12:00.000-07:00

I am issuing a challenge! In the quest for a healthier me, I decided in March to eliminate sweets/desserts from my diet. I've lost weight and feel great. Perhaps you would like to join me. I am going to the end of the year but maybe you will do it for a day, week, or month. Let me know by commenting below.

In this video I discuss why I made the choice to eliminate refined sugars. I also discuss the #1 reason some people fail at the use of moderation in their diet. Lastly, I tell you how I lost over 20 pounds.

Thanks for watching and I am wishing you good success in every area of your life!

Dr. Celeste

Pardon Me but He’s Mr. Wrong

2011-08-05T04:31:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

How can you help a friend reconsider who she’s about to marry without coming across as hating?

I have a friend who is a really good person and her fiancé seems like a bad match. I know I’m on the outside looking in but is there a way to help her snap out of the fantasy and come into the reality that her husband to be is not a good fit?

They’re not equally yoked (she’s a Christian, he’s Muslim), he displays controlling behavior like making her call exes on speaker phone so he can tell them to leave her alone, and got sloppy drunk at a dinner where he met her mother for the first time. I learned that they met in February and plan to marry and get pregnant before he leaves for a year long deployment to Afghanistan in December.

I’m of the philosophy that if she likes it, I love it, but do I have a responsibility as a friend to warn her or encourage her to weigh her decision more carefully? It just seems neglectful to “mind my own business and stay out of it.”

ANSWER

When we truly love someone we have an obligation to intercede when we see them making a wrong decision. Based on your description, your friend’s relationship is littered with red flags.

One, his controlling behavior is in line with one who has the potential to display intimate partner violence. Men who are most prone to this type of abuse typically have low self-esteem and attempt to cover this emotional defect through control, and over consumption of alcohol.

Another red flag is their lack of religious synchronicity: she’s a Christian and he’s a Muslim. The Word tells us, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 5:14).

So the question is not if you should intercede but how. Here are a few suggestions.

1. Refrain from giving advice. A supervisor once told me that “unsolicited advice is seen as criticism.” For that reason people often feel criticized and/or judged by our untimely advice and in turn unable to receive the message, no matter how right that message might be. Therefore, choose your words carefully and speak in love.

2. Be Aware of Timing. Pray for her and for the role God will have you play in this season of her life. Seek God’s direction and ask Him if and/or when to say something to her. His timing is perfect and if you wait on Him, He will allow you to speak a word to her at the right time, which will benefit her greatly.

3. Ask open ended questions. This line of questioning will help her verbalize her expectations for this relationship. Sometimes women “romanticize” a relationship, but asking her questions like, “Where do you see this relationship going? What are your shared goals? What do you respect about your mate?” will hopefully encourage her to operate in reality.

Remember, “A friend loves at all times, and is born, as is a brother, for adversity (Proverbs 17: 17). Therefore, no matter what your friend decides, be there for her and love her unconditionally (just as God and so many others have done for you and me).

I am wishing you good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

I Want to Cheat! Cry for Help or Brazen Arrogance?

2011-07-29T05:56:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

How do you deal with a spouse who tells you they would like to have extramarital affairs? Both spouses love each other and do not want a divorce, but what is the solution, if any?

ANSWER

Hum… very interesting question. I don’t know whether to tell you to run or applaud your spouse for his/her honesty.

But seriously, my first thought was to suggest that this “confession” was a cry for help, but when I presented this scenario to my husband his take was all together different. So here are our views.

1. The Cry for Help Scenario (Dr. Celeste): When two are in relationship they come to interact in a way that is specific to them; a dance of sorts. When this dance is dysfunctional, it can be devastating to the psyche and emotional health of the couple. Sometimes in an effort to shake things up one spouse will do or say something drastic (e.g., I would like to have an extramarital affair; I am going to commit suicide if you leave me, etc.). These extreme moments only offer brief relief from the status quo because when the drama has passed, without the proper intervention the dance picks back up right where it left off.

In terms of gender, women are typically more prone to the cry for help style of communicating while men generally say what they mean. Of course this is not true across the board just a generalization used to provide a frame of reference.

What’s most important is that you begin to understand your relationship and how the two of you communicate, either verbally or non-verbally. Look out for patterns and make a conscious effort to respond differently. It is a fact that when one person changes it forces the other person to change as well.

2. The “We Teach People How to Treat Us” Scenario (Andel Owens): From the very start of a relationship we teach people how to treat us. Through both word and deed, we demonstrate to others how much or how little we value ourselves. If we allow a people to mistreat or take advantage of us at the beginning of a relationship, they will typically continue that behavior on into the relationship. What’s even worst, the maltreatment often increases over time. For that reason, Andel suggests that the foundation for mistreatment in this marriage started way before the confession.

So here are some questions to ponder. Is this confession just brazen arrogance? Can one actually believe that he/she can cheat and remain married like nothing ever happened? In most cases no, but in a marriage where one person has failed to put up proper boundaries this type of behavior can flourish.

However, there is hope. We would suggest that you pray and ask the Spirit to guide you. Proverbs 3:6 reads, “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” God knows what you need to do, so ask. Also, I prayer that I often say is, “God show me me.” It’s a powerful prayer that has helped me to view my problems from a different vantage point. I hope it does the same for you.

Lastly, seek outside help from a counselor, close friend, or minister. Isolation is not your friend with such challenges you are experiencing, so seek help. Remember, your marriage can thrive and do a new dance with the proper guidance.

Perhaps you have an alternative viewpoint or would simply like to add to the discussion. Please feel free to comment below.

We are wishing you good success on your journey,
Dr. Celeste and my favorite guy in the whole wide world Andel J

My Spouses's Affair Led to a Child

2011-07-25T13:49:00.000-07:00

QUESTION:

My husband has fathered a child outside of marriage. How do I deal with this?

ANSWER:

Healing from the effects of infidelity is challenging enough but when that affair produced a child the process becomes even more complicated. Nonetheless, healing is possible and your marriage can thrive with time and the right guidance. Here are a few suggestions to help on your journey:

1. Pray. Don’t underestimate the power of prayer. Nothing has helped me more, particularly in times of stress, then prayer. The Bible tells us that God is a present help in our time of need. Pray as often as you can and also consider getting a prayer partner who can pray with you in this area.

2. Be honest about your feelings. Don’t pretend that everything is okay if it is not. Bitterness, anger and unforgiveness can quickly settle in the heart of one that pretends nothing is wrong. Therefore, it will be especially important to be talk with your husband about your feelings and take the time to understand his.

3. Let the past be the past. The opposite of #2 is bringing up your husband’s affair every time you’re angry with him (which in this case may be often). That is equally as unhealthy. How would you feel if God reminded you of your mistakes every time you prayed? Not so good I’m sure, so don’t do it to your husband. Ask God to help you forgive so that you are able to remember the affair without the pain.

4. Seek outside help. Regular meetings with your Pastor, a marital therapist, and/or individual therapy are all venues designed to help you sort out your feelings of anger, disappointment, and sadness. You might also seek out a support group or read books related to this issue. Marriage Under Cover by Bob and Audrey Meisner would be a great resource. Their story is similar to yours except Audrey became pregnant after an affair.

5. Maintain a healthy relationship with the child. Others who have been in your shoes sometimes find it challenging to love the child of an affair. If that is true for you, pray that God helps you to see him/her as a blessing. The bible tells us that children are an inheritance from the Lord and that He has great plans for every person created, including your stepchild. My hope is that you and your husband will be a positive influence on his/her physical, emotional, and spiritual development.

6. Work to build the trust. This will take time and much sacrifice but every small sacrifice will matter. One way to help this process along might be that your husband limits his contact with the mother of his child. In my opinion, all interactions should be child-focused. Maintaining a “friendship” with this woman would be unnecessary and a hindrance the trust-building process.

All the best to you and I wish you good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Cheating Spouse?

2011-07-20T08:06:00.000-07:00

Question:

I think my husband is cheating or thinking of cheating. How do I approach him?

Answer:

If you are just “thinking” that he is cheating, I recommend that you delay approaching him until you have some proof. The negative ramifications associated with accusing him of something he may not be guilty of are great. Specifically, you run the risk of hurting him deeply with your mistrust. As a consequence, the process of re-building the trust could prove not worth the momentary peace of mind you get from confronting him.

Therefore, I would suggest you first take a moment to explore the possible “whys” behind your suspicions:

1. Female Intuition. There is something to be said for female intuition: that sixth sense that things aren’t quite right. However, in this case—with so much at stake—proof, to back up your accusations, would be ideal. Proverbs 10:19 tells us, “The wise measure their words” and in Proverbs 3:6 we are thus instructed, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” In other words, less talk and more prayer is the way to success in this area. Therefore, God for guidance; He will come through.
I know a woman who suspected her husband of cheating. She prayed and a few days later she found a condom floating in her toilet. She pondered that occurrence for a few days and was given further proof of her husband’s indiscretions when she arrived home early from work and found him in the house with another woman. God answered her prayer and will do the same for you if you ask.

2. Insecurity. If your suspicions of your husband are in any way driven by insecurity, you need to acknowledge that and make strides to improve your sense of self-worth. When a person is insecure, he/she needs constant reassurance that they are loved and this behavior puts a strain on the relationship and your ability to grow as a couple. Be advised that your husband can’t handle nor fix your insecurities, only God can do this. A prayer that I often pray is “God show me me.” It works. When He shows me myself, I believe Him and work towards improving.

3. Fear. Closely tied to insecurity is fear. Fear is a powerful de-motivator and will cause us to act inappropriately. The scripture reminds us, “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). Therefore, gather all of your fears and heap them before the Lord in prayer. He will give you peace so that you can make a wise and godly decision for your marriage.

Well that’s my two cents. Please let me know your thoughts by commenting below.

I am wishing you good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

My Husband Has Left Me

2011-07-19T11:21:00.000-07:00

Question:

My husband decided to leave me for someone else. What do I do now?

Answer:

I’m sorry to hear that your husband has left you. Although I don’t know what lead up to his leaving, I do know that God doesn’t want you wallowing in pity or putting your life on hold. He desires that you to succeed at life even under these circumstances. His word says, “Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers” (3 John 1:2, AKJV).

Therefore, be encouraged. Even in the midst of this problem He still wants you to prosper mind, body, and spirit. Here are a few things that you can do now:

1. Pray to God for His direction. God knows the plans He has for you, so ask for His direction. He may have you dust off some old dreams and work towards making them a reality, or go to counseling to be in good mental shape to experience the next opportunities He has for you, or perhaps He will have you wait patiently on the return of your husband. I don’t know…I’m not God, but whatever He tells you to do, do it. He will greatly reward your obedience (see Joshua 1:8; Deuteronomy 28).

2. Pray for your husband and his new girlfriend. Say what?! Yes, pray. The bible says that we are to pray for those who despitefully use us. I find that when I pray for someone who has wronged me it helps me to release the bitterness I feel toward them and be in a better position to love and grow.

3. Don’t cling to the past. In other words, let go of what was. The past is just that, the past. Therefore, resist re-hashing past conversations or feeling guilty about things said or not said. You can certainly learn from your mistakes but you can’t change them. So learn what is to be learned and move on.

4. Use your time productively. Don’t waste time ruminating on what your husband is doing. If you find it difficult to obtain peace of mind pray, talk with a trusted friend, and/or speak with a counselor. These activities will help you process any negative feelings you might be experiencing as a result of your husband’s rejection.

5. Don’t make any rash decisions. Sit with God and listen for His response to your prayers. There is no rush. Take this time to heal and grow in your relationship with God.

Lastly, you might also meditate on passages of scripture in Psalm (e.g., Psalm 46:1 (KJV) “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble “). No matter what, don’t give up on God, or yourself. I am praying your strength and wishing you good success in every area of your life.

Dr. Celeste

I Regret My Affair

2011-07-18T07:46:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

I cheated on my husband and feel so bad. I have not told him. What now?

ANSWER

I am sorry to hear of your dilemma. The road ahead of you won’t be easy, but with God all things are possible.

First and foremost, if you haven’t already, repent. Whenever we sin, we ultimately sin against God. After his affair with Bathsheba, David prayed, “Against you and you alone have I sinned and done this evil in Your sight” (Psalm 51:4a). Therefore, getting your relationship right with God is imperative.

After you have done that, walk in the freedom that forgiveness brings. People will condemn but God won’t; He says that there is no condemnation in Him. Therefore, now what you have repented you don’t need to “feel so bad” anymore. He loves you no matter what. In fact, He tells us in Proverbs 18:24, that He’s a friend that sticks closer than a brother and in another scripture He says that will never leave or forsake you. Jesus pardoned the sinful woman who anointed his feet with the costly perfume from her alabaster box by simply saying, “Your sins have been forgiven” (Luke 7:48). The same is true for you so again, walk in the freedom that forgiveness brings.

Now you need to address the matter of cheating. The longer you avoid this issue the tougher it will be to address. So the best thing to do is to pray and approach your husband with the news. Believe it or not, it may not come as a surprise to him. From my experience of working with couples, the offended partner has often “sensed” that something was wrong, but without proof they could only guess and wonder. Although the truth hurts, many have reported feeling relieved to finally have some answers.

Here are a few other important factors to consider:

1. Tell him as soon as God opens the door for you to have this conversation. Don’t delay; it would be much more devastating for him to find out about the affair from some other source.

2. You have no control over how your husband reacts to this news. Hopefully the two of you can work things out and have a stronger marriage but there is no guarantee of the outcome. However, no matter what, telling him is the right thing to do and don’t live in regret if things don’t go the way you planned or expected.

3. Consider including a neutral third party like a pastor or Christian counselor who can help the two of you sort out your feelings and explore what factors may have contributed to the affair.

Lastly, keep the faith. God specializes in the impossible. If you follow His plan in this season in your life, He will work it out for your good and cause you to have good success. Be encouraged and please let me know how things turn out for you.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Wrong Again

2011-06-28T04:34:00.000-07:00

I can't tell you how many times I have misjudged a person or situation; how many times my eyes and ears have convinced me of one thing only for it to be something else.

This morning I was led to pray that God would open my "spiritual" eyes and ears (from Isaiah 11:1-4). No sooner had a prayed this prayer I was put to the test. As I was sitting in my parent's family room I noticed the smell of smoke. As no one in my family smokes, the logical explanation was my teenage nephew who had stayed the night. I could see him sneaking into the family room in the middle of the night to have a quick "secret" smoke. No sooner that I had this absurd thought the Spirit reminded me that the smoke smell was coming from me!

Yesterday I was visiting an establishment which smelled heavily of smoke. The smell was so overwhelming that after about 15 minutes I had to leave to prevent myself from choking. As a consequence my hair and skin smelled of smoke but I hadn't noticed until this morning. All I know is that I thank God he opened my spiritual eyes before I made a complete fool of myself and hurt someone else in my haste to judge.

Are you in a habit of judging before you have all the facts? If yes, I encourage you to ask God to open your spiritual eyes. Timothy wrote, "Consider what I say, and may the Lord give you understanding in all things" (2 Timothy 2:7).

Do not make decisions based on what you see and hear in the natural but ask God to give you wisdom and discernment so that you can see people and situations for what they REALLY are. When you start to see as He does His favor and peace will rest upon you; people will be drawn to you and you will prosper in every area of your life.

I would love to answer your questions. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook. Also, feel free to comment on this post below.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

Quick Update to Keeping the Faith

2011-05-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

This is a quick update to yesterday's post, Keeping the Faith. Thank you for your text, emails, and prayers. The doctor phoned today with great news; the cells they were concerned about are benign. All I can say is THANK GOD! He does all things well.

Whatever you are believing God for don't give up. If it is in His will it's a done deal. I am a witness!

Wishing you good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Recommended Reading: Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick

Keeping the Faith

2011-05-19T11:34:00.000-07:00

If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.
(Proverbs 24:10)

What good is a faith that is untested? Anyone can say they have faith but the true measure of faith is what one does when faced with a challenge.

In September of 2007, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I underwent chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery and by God’s grace I am alive and well.

Fast forward 3 years. On September 20, 2010, while presenting to the Cancer Support Ministry of the First Baptist Church of Glenarden I made a bold declaration: I will never be stricken with cancer again in Jesus’ name.

At the time of that statement, I was in the throes of a fast I was developing which is now known as the 40-Day Surrender Fast. (Click to read Day 8 - Establish Your Faith: http://surrenderfast.blogspot.com/2010/09/day-8-establish-your-faith.html.)

Since that time many others have partaken in the fast with amazing results. Just recently another group started. On Monday, May 16, 2011 they were reading—of all the post—Establish Your Faith. I only knew this because one of the participants emailed me with a comment and I posted back.

Well as fate would have it, I was scheduled for a mammogram on the very day they were reading Establish Your Faith. At the conclusion of the exam the doctor told me that some calcification had been indentified which would need to be biopsied. I had the biopsy yesterday and the results of that test are to come in tomorrow.

So I repeat, what good is a faith that is untested? We don’t know what we believe until you are called to prove it. Well I believe I heard God correctly on September 20, 2010 and I refuse to think otherwise.

In fact, on the morning of the mammogram God had me to read Isaiah 55:11

So is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

On my drive home I recalled what I had read and was greatly comforted. God always gives you just what you need often before you actually need it.

If you are going through something today that threatens to overwhelm you—DON’T LET IT. God has prepared and equipped you to overcome any and every challenge. You don’t have to take anything lying down; God has all power and the final say so.

The doctor is to call me tomorrow but in the meantime I am living for today, keeping the faith, and believing God at His word:

· No weapon formed against you shall prosper” (Isaiah 54:17).

· God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1).

· What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us (Romans 8:31)?

And I declare it again—I will never be stricken with cancer again in Jesus’ name. Amen

Please comment and let us know what challenges you are facing so that we can encourage you.

Also, I would love to answer your questions. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

To Free or Not to Free

2011-05-17T19:30:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

I have a quick question about charging a fee for ministry work. The other night my dad and I were talking about my ideas, ministry, blog, etc., whereupon he told me “Whatever you do that is church related should always be FREE.” Do you know I cringed at the thought? So I prayed about it, well rather, I said to the Lord, “really does it all have to be free?” And the Lord said "It doesn't belong to you. Are you really concerned about money? Everything, including your ideas has come from me." Then I started thinking about a curriculum that I have wrote for mothers and started feeling some sense of "ownership" over that material. Again the Lord said, "It's not yours." I am having a hard time with this. Please help!

ANSWER

Thank you for your question. It’s interesting that you would ask me this question now. Had you asked me this question some time last year I would have readily agreed with your father’s statement but now I know better.

I am taking a year-long biblical entrepreneurship course taught by Patrice Tsague of the Nehemiah Project (http://nehemiahproject.org/training-certificate-course.htm). It is fantastic and has changed the way I view and approach ministry.

Mr. Tsague posits that a kingdom business/ministry, like any other business, requires money to grow. If we are regularly giving away our gifts and talents we hinder the growth of the ministry and thus hamper our ability to further the work of the kingdom.

Mr Tsague further suggests that we are bad stewards of our gifts and talents when we don’t properly “steward” what God has given to us. He references the parable of the servants and the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) and interestingly enough the story of Joseph (Genesis 41). Joseph wasn’t the business owner but he was entrusted to grow Pharaoh’s wealth and further his kingdom. He couldn’t just give it all out for free because it wasn’t his!

The same is true for us. We don’t own anything; it all belongs to God. Isn’t that what God has been telling you, “It all belongs to me”? Therefore, it behooves you (and the rest of us) to do right by Him. If He has given us books, curriculums, and inventions we are to get those copyrighted or patented so that we can keep control of what God has entrusted to us. This is not about us but Him.

So let’s follow your father’s argument to its logical conclusion. If it’s wrong to charge for church related activities no one who works for the church should be paid. That would include the pastor, ministry leaders, and church employees. According to this argument they, too, should be working for free. I don’t see that happening nor should it. I Timothy 5:18b reads, “The laborer is worthy of his hire.”

Now am I suggesting that you never volunteer for the church or in church related activities? Of course not. You should be in the regular practice of giving of your time and abilities to the church (even tithing a portion of your business time for volunteer activities) but seek God for the His will so that you are balanced in your efforts (see Proverbs 3:5-6).

Lastly, God wants you to succeed at advancing His kingdom and the ministry that He has entrusted to you. And for that to happen, my dear, you will need some money!

I would also love to answer your questions too. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook. Also please feel free to comment on this post below.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

Make This One Count

2011-05-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

The other day my sister Nicole called me with a story that blessed me and I hope it does the same for you.

A few weeks ago she was the birthing coach for our sister Stephanie who was having her first baby. Not knowing what to expect Stephanie was naturally apprehensive and a little confused. Understanding her dilemma the doctor began to repeat the same phrase at each contraction, “Okay Stephanie, make this one count.”

At first Stephanie wasn’t making it count. She was pushing half-heartedly or not at all. As a result of her efforts—or lack thereof—the baby would surface momentarily and then retreat. Then she would have to start all over again.

However, after a few failed attempts she had an “aha moment.” If she was going to succeed at having her baby she was going to have to push through the pain with all her might. So when the next contraction came, she made it count and is now the proud mommy of a beautiful baby boy.

Like Stephanie, some of you are in the throws of an uncomfortable experience and want God to rescue you without any effort on your part. It doesn’t work that way. God requires that you do your part and make every effort count.

This is not a post about avoiding pain or wishing yourself out of a season that you just have to weather. No, there are some things you just have to endure. That season for me was cancer. I prayed fervently for God to remove the lump without any medical treatment but He didn’t. And I am glad he didn’t. I needed to weather that storm so that I and others could see His glory.

But this is different. This discussion is about you hindering your own progress. Let me illustrate.

Last April, I approached a publisher about a book I have written on destiny. They agreed to publish me but on terms that were unsuitable, so I declined and waited (and waited some more). In fact the wait has been so long that I am content to just stay right where I am but God won’t let me. He is now nudging me to move forward.

So with fear and trepidation I am now soliciting agents. I sent out my first 10 email queries the other night. The next day, 2 declined. One even wrote, “Thanks for querying me about your work. With a very full plate, I take on new writers only in exceptional circumstances, and your work is not, I am sorry to say, for me.” Ouch! But like my grandmother use to say, “One monkey don’t spoil no show.” (Feel free to interpret that any way you like.)

Anyway, there is good news. One agent asked to see my proposal! My efforts are paying off and I know I will be published soon.

What is God calling you to? What amazing ministry, business, book, or other experience does He want you to birth in you? Then push. Don’t let fear and the pain of rejection keep you from what is yours. The doctor has spoken, “Okay _______________ (put your name here), make this one count!”

Please feel free to leave comments below. Also, if you have a question you would like for me to answer please email me at info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

Can you Hear me Now?

2011-05-05T04:07:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

How do I communicate with a spouse that does not want to? Do I back off and let them have time to themselves (which could be dangerous and cause for separation)? I understand that nagging and begging to get answers does not work either, and praying is the best thing to do. But do you just ignore the issues you have in your relationship or try to find another avenue to get your spouse's attention?

ANSWER

For this circumstance ignoring is not the answer; this problem will require active, consistent attention and care. If you are to succeed at rebuilding this relationship, you must actively seek God for His plan and not lean to your own understanding (Proverbs 3:6). It is abundantly clear (at least to me) by the way you phrased the question that you are participating in the latter. So let me help by breaking down each of your questions.

1. How do I communicate with a spouse that does not want to?

Whomever said communication is all about words is lying. Only a small percentage (7% to be exact) of communication involves words. In fact, a greater portion of our message is communicated through body language (55%) and vocals (38%; pitch, tone of voice).

The word confirms this truth. In 1 Peter 3:1-2 we are thus instructed:

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

Without a word…they observe the chaste conduct…you and God win...need I say more?

2. I understand that nagging and begging to get answers does not work either, and praying is the best thing to do.

Amen, absolutely correct. Prayer trumps nagging every time. James 1:20 tells us that “the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” You can talk and nag until you are blue in the face but those behaviors will not produce the change you seek. Indeed you need God to intervene in a supernatural way. Therefore let Him instruct you, through prayer, on how you are interact with your spouse.

3. But do you just ignore the issues you have in your relationship or try to find another avenue to get your spouse's attention?

You find another avenue.

Relationships are funny little things that require two people to maintain their dynamic. Therefore when one changes (in this case it will be you) the other person has to change.

Right now your relationship is probably on autopilot; simply mimicking the beliefs you learned in childhood about marriage. I would suspect that your spouse witnessed at least one of his/her parents regularly shutting down in marriage. In your case, I would guess that you have a family history of divorce (*indicated by your own words: “Do I back off and let them have time to themselves, [which could be dangerous and cause for separation].” See further explanation below).

Therefore, operating on autopilot, would prove disastrous. You need to believe and do something different; God will show you what to do.

First, He wants you to know that you are not desperate and not without hope. You serve a God who has ALL power and can make the impossible--possible, if you only believe. He said in Isaiah 49:23b, "Then you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” That’s a promise!

So do not fear but move into action. Here are a few suggestions:

1. Take time to reflect on key scriptures that will encourage you in the area of marriage.

2. Recall God’s promises to you about marriage and recite they back to Him.

3. Do something different: smile more, make their favorite meal, invite them on a date, etc. Showing love will make its intended impact and soften their defenses.

4. Surround yourself with those that can give you godly advice. Even consider a Christian counselor for yourself to help you sort out your feelings.

Lastly, God's desire for your marriage far exceeds your wildest imaginations (see Ephesians 3:20) and He has given you everything you need to succeed. You don’t have to be a statistic; your marriage can thrive and prosper with God’s help. Just let Him have His way and then your spouse will hear you and Him!

I would also love to answer your questions. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook. Also, please feel free to comment below.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

*Backing off to give another space shouldn’t produce the fear of separation/divorce. Brief spurts of emotional disconnection are typical and often necessary in a marriage.

Recommended Reading: Marriage from A to Z, Carolyn Tatem

Frustrated with One-way Friendships

2011-05-03T08:39:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

In relationships I am a tad sensitive when the Golden Rule isn't applied. As a result, I have ended two major friendships because it felt like I was investing more than they were which is fine at times, but becomes offensive when it characterizes the relationship and is noticed by others. I kind of separated myself from both relationships and in one of the relationships I sat down to talk with her a couple of times, but I hit the breaking point a few months ago. I'm realizing that I don't understand relationships as well as I thought I did. I thought that if I showed love, went out of my way, basically made myself available when they were in need, then they would also do the same, etc. But we all know that's not the way life works.

So how am I to have successful relationships when I feel like I’m doing my part but it isn't reciprocated? I definitely know relationships aren't always 50/50, but what do you do when you're mindful of filling there "love tank", but yours is neglected and remains on "E"? A successful relationship is a two way street, right? I'm feeling like I did something wrong because I let go of the relationships and didn't accept them for who they were...

ANSWER

Understanding that there are varying degrees of friendship helps. In the New Testament we learn a great deal about the dynamics of relationships by reading about Paul, Barnabas, and Timothy.

It is said that we are to be a Barnabas (friend), pursue a Paul (mentor), and train a Timothy (mentee; see the book of Acts). These terms are often used in the context of ministry development but I think they are also applicable to our platonic relationships.

This philosophy has helped me to understand the dynamics of my own relationships. Some years back I was in a few challenging friendships; I had started to feel frustrated and drained. I knew something had to change. Thus I re-evaluated my friendships by the above mentioned criteria and began to understand why some of my friendships were so lopsided (i.e., I was Paul to some). Armed with this knowledge, I was able to re-group and approach those friendships with lower expectations.

Another important point to remember is that we are in some relationships for merely a season. In the book of Ruth after Naomi had lost her husband and two sons she urged her daughters-in-law to return to their country of origin. Orpah gladly complied but Ruth would not be persuaded (Ruth 1: 16-17).

But Ruth said:

      “ Entreat me not to leave you,
      Or to turn back from following after you;
      For wherever you go, I will go;
      And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
      Your people shall be my people,
      And your God, my God.

  Where you die, I will die,
      And there will I be buried.
      The LORD do so to me, and more also,
      If anything but death parts you and me.”

I guess Ruth was determined to be a friend for life! And she had to be; their destinies were intricately tied. Orpah, on the other hand wasn’t a flake, she just understood that their season had ended.

So you have ended two longing-standing relationships. If you are reasonably sure that you are in God’s will move on and don’t wallow in guilt. Doing what God requires is not always easy but obedience is always rewarded.

For others, if you, too, are at a crossroads I encourage you to re-evaluate your relationships. If after careful consideration you discover that you are always a Paul and always giving out, you need to seek God for balance. You are not called to be in a continual state of outpour; you need someone pouring into you too.

If you discover instead that your season has ended with certain individuals have the courage to make a change. Remember you don’t want to hinder the fulfillment of your destiny or someone else’s by staying tied to a relationship that has ended. Furthermore, moving on makes room for the right people to join you for this leg of your race.

I would also love to answer your questions. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook. Also please feel free to comment on this post below.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

Succeeding at Relationships

2011-04-29T03:54:00.000-07:00

If you live long enough someone will hurt you, let you down, and/break a promise. It’s one of the consequences of living in a fallen world; none are perfect but God.

Despite this reality, God designed us to be in relationship with other people. In fact, our success hinges on it. That's right, we need other people to succeed and the Word confirms this truth: “Two are better than one” (Ecclesiastes 4:9a) and “If two lie down together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone?” (Ecclesiastes 4:11).

Now take a moment to think about your relationships and ponder the following questions:

1. Are your relationships healthy and thriving or filled with conflict and pain?

2. Are those you are connected with encouraging your success or providing stumbling blocks for your failure?

3. Are you representing Christ well in your relationships?

4. Do you allow God to determine with whom you associate?

How did you do? For some of you, this short exercise confirmed that you are in good relationships. Perhaps for others of you, some improvement is necessary. If that is the case, don’t despair. You, too, can enjoy healthy, thriving relationships if you adhere to some basic tenets.

Healthy relationships are:

1. Christ-centered. To succeed at any relationship you need to make Christ the center. Period. Let His life be a demonstration of how you are to be in relationships. Ironically, He not only loved those who were kind to Him but also those who misused and betrayed His trust. Remember a fellow by the name of Judas? Yeah, He loved Him too.

2. Built on love and respect. You should treat others as you would like to be treated (see Matthew 7:12). But maybe you haven’t learned how to love and often get into relationships that mimic your past unhealthy relationships. Fortunately, God’s word tells us what healthy, loving relationships look like. Love the Bible’s way is outlined in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

· Patient

· Kind

· Never envious or boastful

· Polite

· Slow to anger

· Forgiving

· Honest

· Protective

· Trustworthy

Examine your relationships against this barometer. If your relationships fall short, ask God to give you the grace to make the changes you need to make.

3. Conflict friendly. Conflict in relationships is natural and necessary; it allows for the proper stretching that leads to growth. However, conflict is not about fighting and dominating another person. If your relationships are filled with violence, both physical and emotional, you need to re-evaluate those relationships. That is not God’s design for healthy relationships.

4. Areas where each person can be him/herself. It is God’s job, not yours, to change other people. If you are constantly seeking to change those you are in relationship with, you are wrong. No one has to conform to or live life by your standards because Christ is the standard. Therefore, work on changing you and stop trying to control everyone else.

Lastly, with God’s help you will succeed at relationships—even the challenging ones. He will give you the grace to love the parent who abandoned you, the boss who ignores your talent, or the friend who comes from a dysfunctional family. Nothing is too hard for God.

If you seek God in this area of your life, no matter how painful your history, He will cause your every relationship to succeed (see Proverbs 16:7).

I would love to answer your questions. Please forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook. Also please feel free to comment on this post below.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

It Will Cost You Something

2011-04-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

If I’m really trying to continue to further my relationship with God, does that have to affect my friends & family I have really close relationships with?

ANSWER

If I may read between the lines, I believe you are asking if you will be required to distance yourself from or even severe relationships that compromise your walk with God. If that is correct, the answer is YES.

Truth be told, following Christ requires sacrifice; it will cost you something. “Then He said to them all, ‘If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me” (Luke 10:23).

This scripture is not implying that we are to literally carry a cross as Jesus did but instead it’s reminds us that our decision to follow Christ requires some sacrifice and each day we must willingly surrender our will for His.

But even at the cost of our personal freedom there is so much to be gain including an abundant/prosperous life here on earth. “For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it” (Luke 10:24). By way of illustration let me share two brief stories.

My mother accepted Christ as her personal savior in 1976, one year before my father. Needless to say he was less than thrilled to hear of her decision. Nonetheless she remained faithful to her convictions and her unwavering stand for God paid off. My Dad has now been a Christian for about 35 years.

When I met my husband in 1999, he had not yet accepted Christ as his personal savior. Soon after our brief encounter he was deployed to Saudi Arabia. We continued to communicate by email for four months. I vowed to God (unbeknownst to my husband) that if he returned to the states an unbeliever I would severe our relationship. One week before his return he accepted Christ. We have now been happily married for 10 years.

Of course I focused on romantic relationships but this principle of surrender in the area of relationships, applies across the board—be it mother, father, or friend. God wants all of your heart and He will have you put no other god before Him (see Exodus 20:3).

By now you’re probably getting the point—taking a stand for Christ is the best but not so easy choice; the risks are real and you stand to lose some relationships. But my friend, the risk pale in comparison to what you are to gain:

Jesus said, "Mark my words, no one who sacrifices house, brothers, sisters, mother, father, children, land—whatever—because of me and the Message will lose out. They'll get it all back, but multiplied many times in homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and land—but also in troubles. And then the bonus of eternal life! This is once again the Great Reversal: Many who are first will end up last, and the last first." (Mark 10:29-31, Message)

Therefore it behooves you to focus on what’s to gain rather than the potential losses. In other words, don’t let the fear of losing keep you from doing what is right.

I have learned over the years—by much trial and error—that following God pays big and because of my obedience I now live a life worth living. I am no longer plagued by defeat, depression, or indecision. I find good success in all my dealings because I am willing to seek God for His direction and wisdom.

I pray the same becomes true for you. Take a bold stand for righteousness. Yes, it will cost you something and it will positively and negatively affect the status of your relationships but it will be worth it. In fact, you may even win (for Christ) the ones you fear losing. Whatever the case don’t let the enemy use fear to keep you from living the abundant life God intended for you from the beginning.

I would be delighted to answer your questions. Simply forward them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook.

Also, please feel free to share your story of encouragement below.

Wishing you God’s good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Succeeding to the Finish Video

2011-04-18T17:42:00.000-07:00

Succeeding to the Finish

2011-04-18T17:34:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wanted to give up? Recently I heard a message that really spoke to me. It was entitled, “Faithful in a Finished Place.” The preacher encouraged us to end strong; to see an endeavor through to completion even when the finish doesn’t seem that it will ever come.

You may be there right now; experiencing the frustration of doing all that God has required but not seeing the results. Well join the club. There are times when I feel like Dre—you know, from the Karate Kid—putting on the same jacket over and over again. I sometimes want to scream, “What’s the point God?” But I know He has a point. And if I am patient, the point will be made for the whole world to see.

Frustration comes when you try to use human logic to understand God’s plan. However, the Word clearly states, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD” (Isaiah 55:8). Therefore if you are going to succeed the way God intended you must release your agenda and patiently wait on Him.

It may not feel like it right now but your patience will pay off; each step you make in obedience to God opens another door. Like Abraham, hope against hope. Although old and childless he believed that God would make him the father of many nations. And God did.

You can’t see it right now but God’s promises are coming to pass with each obedient step. If faithful you will make it to the final finish and succeed beyond your wildest dreams!

What pressing life issue threatens your success? I am answering your questions at info@drcelesteowens.com or you can inbox me on my Facebook page.

Wishing you God's good success in every area of your life!
Dr. Celeste

Unhappily Married

2011-04-13T03:46:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

How do I live with a spouse who doesn’t enjoy marriage?

ANSWER

Marriage is hard work, period. Even the best marriages have challenges. However, the marriages that survive are built on key principles: love, solid communication, and compromise. Let’s review each:

1. LOVE – One of my favorite passages of scripture is I Corinthians 13. It’s regularly quoted at weddings but seldom lived in marriage as it challenges one to express love in a way that goes against his/her instinct.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

See what I mean… unnatural. However if you desire God’s good success in your marriage you will need to meditate on this passage and allow God’s grace to work the impossible in your situation.

REMEDY - Get plenty of support: a pastor, spiritually mature friend and/or Christian counselor. Surround yourself with like-minded people who can encourage you during this difficult season. Also, ask God to help you to love Him, yourself, and your spouse in a way that defies your nature!

2. COMMUNICATION – This underutilized, yet critical component of a healthy marriage is crucial. If you haven’t already, ask your spouse what makes him/her unhappy in the marriage. If he/she is unable to convey in words the source of their unhappiness pay attention to other telltale signs:

a. Has there been any major life changes: unemployment, death of loved one, health problems, etc?

b. Is your spouse depressed or experiencing some other mental health problem?

c. Have you changed? Obtained a new job, more spiritually or emotionally healthy? Whatever the changes, perhaps your spouse is reacting to some unmet expectation (i.e., that you would never change). If so, reassure your spouse that you are not leaving them behind or love them any less. Also, make them a part of your new lifestyle. The goal is to grow together, not apart.

3. COMPROMISE – This is a bad word in our society but many marriages are failing because of our unwillingness to deny our own freedoms or so-called rights. Yet change doesn’t occur without some sacrifice.

REMEDY - Schedule a date night or overnight retreat. If finances are an issue, set up a private retreat at home. Cook your spouse’s favorite meal (or grab takeout). The goal is to make him/her feel special and valued. During this time ask your spouse if there is something that he/she would like for you to do differently. Remember, don’t react, don’t defend, just listen. Then work on meeting that need if possible.

Lastly, passivity will not change your situation. Envision what you want your marriage to be (even write it down) and work towards that. Ecclesiastes 5:3 reads, “For a dream comes with much business and painful effort, and a fool's voice with many words.” Marriage is hard work but if you persevere you will reap the fruit of your labor (see Galatians 6:9).

I would love to answer your questions too. Please email them to info@drcelesteowens.com or inbox me on Facebook. Also feel free to leave a comment below.

I am praying that God's good success permeate every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

I Can't Compete with the Computer

2011-04-12T04:08:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

Having been married for more than 10 years, I have come to a spiritually mature place where divorce is not an option although problems in our marriage continue. Just recently I found my husband on a pornographic site. This is not the first time I have “caught him in the act”. Unfortunately, as we have done in the past, we pretended as though nothing happened. Now I am at an impasse; I desire to love my husband through this sin, but I can't compete with the computer... I realize I will never measure up. Help me to be the wife GOD expects me to be in this trying time. In myself, I want to stop having sex with him until he gets it together, but that deprives me and my witness (to him). I know pornography is more than just the pursuit, perhaps it is something that he can't let go...but he needs to know how it makes me feel. I need to know why he chooses that over me; we need to think about how our actions affect our children.

ANSWER

You are not alone. Your husband is fighting an addiction that affects the lives of many men. More than 70 percent of men from 18 to 34 visit a pornographic site in a typical month (Media Metrix, Inc.). Unfortunately, Christian men are not exempt. A Promise Keepers’ survey from a 1996 stadium event revealed that 50 percent of men in attendance were involved with pornography within one week of attending the event.

Armed with that truth let me apply God’s word to each of your talking points:

...divorce is not an option.

God will honor your commitment. Malachi 2:15-17 reads, "I hate divorce," says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, "I hate the violent dismembering of the 'one flesh' of marriage." So watch yourselves. Don't let your guard down. Don't cheat (Message bible).

…we pretend nothing has happened.

Ignoring his addiction to pornography is problematic for several reasons:

1. It hinders God’s plan for full disclosure and deliverance. God has brought it to the light for a reason (Luke 8:17). Therefore ask Him for the wisdom and guidance as how to proceed (Proverbs 3:6).

2. It inadvertently sends the message that this behavior doesn’t bother you as much as you say.

3. It keeps you for seeking help from other godly people. You, nor he can fight this battle alone. The words tells us that there is safety in a multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14).

…I desire to love my husband through this sin.
And that you should. God hates sin but not the sinner. He has called us to love everyone, even those who mistreat us (Matthew 5:44). Although your husband has offended you, he has offended God greater. King David cried to God in Psalm 51:7, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.”

…I can’t compete with the computer.

You are absolutely right so don’t try. Instead focus on strengthening your relationship with God. He sees and cares about what you are going through. He desires to be your refuge (Psalm 91:1) and strength (Ephesians 6:10).

…I need to know why he chooses it over me.

His addiction really has nothing to do with you and all to do with a void in his heart that only God can fill. I would venture that his addiction with pornography predates you. Also, I would further submit that when he resist the urge to engage in pornography he engages in other “acceptable” addictions such as eating, drinking, shopping, etc. So remember this has nothing to do with you and all to do with his lack of relationship with God.

…I want to stop having sex with him until he gets it together.

That sounds so logical and some readers are urging you to do just that except it goes against God’s word and not following His word hinders His good success in every area of our lives. I Corinthians 7:5a reads, “Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time.” This scripture will be easier to embrace when you both stop ignoring the behavior and get real about how his behavior is destroying the marriage and the family.

Also, believing that he can just get his act together allows you to stand in judgment of his behavior. If he could get it together he would; the shame of such an addiction must plague him continuously. Instead pray that God intervenes and breaks this stronghold in your husband’s life.

…withholding sex deprives me and my witness to him.

You have that exactly right. “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives” (I Peter 3:1). Also “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men” (Colossians 3:23).

…our actions affect our children.

Your concern is real. God says we are to have no other gods before Him. An addiction is a god. But when your husband turns his heart back toward God, God promises to show mercy and steadfast love to a thousand generations of those who love and keep His commandments (Exodus: 20:6). Not only will you and your family be blessed by his obedience but generations to come!

…perhaps it’s something he can’t let go of.

He can’t but God can. Matthew 19:26b, “With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Lastly, I urge you to take care of yourself. Seek the help of a professional Christian counselor who can help you to maintain a balanced view of yourself. You are not to blame. I also pray that one day soon you and your husband are able to testify of how God delivered your family from the bondage of this addiction. All the best to you!

Please email your questions to info@drcelesteowens.com.

Praying God's good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Something to Prove

2011-04-06T03:32:00.000-07:00

For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.

(John 12:43, NKJV)

Do you have something to prove—perhaps to a rejecting parent, unappreciative spouse, or demanding boss?

Is your pursuit of education, marriage, wealth and/or fame directly tied to proving your worth? Well be cautioned. A motivation to succeed rooted in a need to prove yourself will never make you feel valued, accepted, or loved.

In John 17 we read of how Jesus, even at the close of His earthly life, prayed that God would glorify Him (Jesus). Not for any selfish reason but that through Him men would come to know God and be saved.

What a powerful prayer considering that Jesus is God and had much to prove. Yet He humbled Himself even to death on the cross and unselfishly prayed that men would come to know the Father.

Like Jesus, there is no need for you to prove yourself because you are all that God says you are. You are the head and not the tail, the lender and not the borrower, above and not beneath (see Deuteronomy 28:12-13) and He has bestowed upon you glory and honor (John 17:22). You are His child and He wants to use you for a great work.

This is often hard to believe when others have spoken so much negativity into your life but it is the truth. God wants to use you. His word says that He gives grace to the humble and will exalt you in due season if you faint not.

Jesus also knows that pursuing God's plan pays off. As a reward for His sacrifice God has “highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father” (Philippians 2:9-11).

Therefore, release your plan and let God’s voice speak to your heart louder than the pursuit of your endeavor. Vow today to live a live that is worthy of your calling; humble yourself, reevaluate your motives, and know that you have nothing to prove because God approves of you.

I welcome your comments. Also if success eludes you in some area of your life, I may be able to help. Please submit your questions to info@drcelesteowens.com.

Praying God's good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Trying Not to be Overwhelmed

2011-03-30T04:03:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

Celeste,

I am struggling with which move to make right now. It's a lot going on and I am TRYING not to overwhelm myself.

1. Living with my parents and they are now experiencing a possible foreclosure. I have given them all the resources that I know of and at the same time my dad needs a kidney and I am the last one to be tested. He has not stopped smoking and this affects his health as well.

2. My daughter needs money to go back to school in Georgia, her grades are slipping and I cannot afford to send her back there but I do not want her to stay in this area/DC.

3. My son is making poor decisions and I am looking for a school (military, etc.) to send him to for a better environment.

ANSWER

Dear Trying Not to be Overwhelmed,

Remember God’s good success requires a continual study of and mediation on His word. Here’s the scripture God gave me for you and here’s how He wants to speak to your heart.

Even to your old age and gray hairs
I am he, I am he who will sustain you.
I have made you and I will carry you;
I will sustain you and I will rescue you. (Isaiah 46:4, NIV)

Even to your old age and gray hairs

If you desire to see your old age, approach and resolve each problem with this philosophy in mind: pray and don’t worry. I have said in my word cast all your cares upon me for I care for you (I Peter 5:7). I desire to be the center of your universe. When you allow Me total reign over your problems you will find joy, peace, and calm. Remember, I will keep you in perfect peace if you keep your mind on me (Isaiah 26:3).

I am He, I am He who will sustain you

Do you believe that? I will sustain. You have tried to do it by yourself for so long but now’s the time to turn it all over to me. I do not grow tired or weary, and my understanding no one can fathom. I give strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak (Isaiah 40:29).

I have made you and I will carry you

Before I formed you in your mother’s womb I knew you (Jeremiah 1:5). So let me carry you out of your pain to an abundant life. That doesn’t always mean that the trouble disappears because it is good that you are afflicted (Psalm 119:71) but I can keep the trouble from harming you. I said in Psalm 91, I will give my angels charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways. They will bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone.

I will sustain you and I will rescue you

With long life I will satisfy you; not just in years but to give you a life worth living (Psalm 91:16). I have great plans for you so trust Me, seek Me; I will answer you and deliver you from all your trouble. There is a great nation in you and you were created for such a time as this. Your children will rise up and call you blessed and for generations to come they will remember you as the one who served the Lord with all your heart. I love you, you can trust Me.

Amen

If you have a question you would like for God (through me) to answer please forward to info@drcelesteowens.com.

Praying God’s good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Single with a Mortgage

2011-03-29T10:53:00.000-07:00

QUESTION

Dear Dr. Celeste,

I have good government job but I absolutely hate it! I appreciate the steady check, the opportunity to learn new things, and meet some interesting people but my particular position has no real structure or purpose and my particular office is quite inefficient and very resistant to any suggestions that may help us be more effective in my opinion.

Just thinking about the job produces anxiety. After starting this job, I started having physical health symptoms that my doctor diagnosed as stress-related.

I've been applying for other government jobs for about a year but have not gotten any interviews or offers. I even tried to go back to the last position I was in but they never even called back.

I'm beginning to think God is telling me to quit relying on secure government jobs and follow my passions: writing, public speaking, spiritual direction, jewelry making, and entrepreneurship in general. But right now I have debt and bills. And the things I want to pursue take even more money than I already make or have.

I began the ambitious goal of paying off my revolving debt this year by first assessing how much I actually have and it's nothing out of control but still more than I have right now in my accounts. I am also reassessing my jewelry business and developing strategies to make it more effective.

In sum, I am stuck and don’t know if I should just take a leap of faith.

RESPONSE

Dear Single with a Mortgage,

First things first, the word says in 2 Thessalonians 3:10b, "If a man will not work, he shall not eat." Unless you have clearly heard the voice of God—and not simply the voice of your frustration—DO NOT leave your "good government job". (Other reference: Proverbs 3:6)

There’s something to be said about seeing a process all the way through to the end. God will often use our most frustrating circumstances to develop His character in us. Some years back I was in a similar situation. I had grown tired of my job and wanted out desperately, but God wouldn’t move me. Like you I applied to others jobs to never receive a call back. Finally I prayed to God for the right attitude while I waited. With His help I stayed put without the frustration and before I knew it He opened a door for me to start my own private practice.

We forget that God is not in a rush. His word says “that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day”(2 Peter 3:8). So like I said…not in a rush.

Fortunately, there are a several things that you can do while you wait for God to move you:

1. Pay down your debt: any business owner knows that one dramatically increases the odds of succeeding when one’s personal debt is null or at a minimum.

2. Have an exit plan: Developing a solid business plan for the jewelry business might be a great place to start.

3. Learn what you need to learn now: Running is not the answer. What God wants to teach you will be learned where you are or at your next location. Some repeat the same cycle for many years attempting to avoid a valuable lesson or development of character. Case in point, the children of Israel wandered in the desert wilderness for 40 years. Did I mention that God is not in a rush?

4. Look for opportunities to minister right where you are: We often forget that ministry can occur right in our places of employment. There may be a person that God needs for you to touch before you leave.

It takes faith to stay in a situation that you feel is zapping the life out of you but if God has called you to this experience He will lead you out in His timing. The word says, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me” (Psalm 23:4). God never promised a life of but we can trust that He will bring us out.

Lastly, when God is ready to move you He will and you won’t have any doubt that it was Him.

If you have a question you would like for me to answer please forward to info@drcelesteowens.com.

Praying God’s good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste

Welcome to the Blog

2011-03-28T15:35:00.000-07:00

Are you ready to succeed in every area of your life?

Well you're in the right place. This blog is dedicated to helping you achieve God's good success in every area of your life.

God's idea of good or proper success is outlined for us in Joshua 1:8 which reads, "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success."

There you have it. Success is not about having numerous degrees, the best cars, a mansion, prestige, fame or fortune. It's simply about knowing God's word so that when He speaks, you hear Him clearly and obey.

I wish I could say that I always hear God correctly and follow His every command but I can't. However I am growing in my relationship with Him and learning to better discern His voice day by day. As a matter of fact, I now find myself smack dab in the middle of an incredible adventure with Him and I would love for you to join me.

Here's what you are in for:

Motivating blog posts by yours truly and guest bloggers
Corresponding video blog post from my You Tube channel: The Good Success Movement
Answers to your most pressing problems
and much more!

I often hear, I understand what you are saying about good success but how do I apply God's word to my particular situation. Well I am here to help. I will offer sound biblical advice with a psychological slant to your most difficult problems.

Therefore please forward a brief summary of your dilemma to info@drcelesteowens.com. I will do my best to answer each question received. I look forward to hearing from you!

Please subscribe to receive email notifications of new blog posts.

Praying God's good success in every area of your life,
Dr. Celeste